lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
