i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
