Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
