Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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