idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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