At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
