I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
