Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
