I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
