I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
