one two three fourrrrnication!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drunk is not a location!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
