We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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