well you can't waste a boner
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
