Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
