i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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