Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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