no, he came in my armpit
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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