from now on my penis is your penis
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
