I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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