and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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