You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
