My friends, they love my intelligence
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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