so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
