I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
