I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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