I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
