I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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