Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
