Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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