I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
