Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
