Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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