when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm getting married
To pizza
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
