This is not my ceiling
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
