Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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