I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
