Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
