She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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