Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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