was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
