Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
honey bunches of taint.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
