If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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