Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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