I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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