Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
