I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
