I feel great
I just peed on a car
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
