Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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