All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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