Its about making memories worth repressing
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
