He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
