You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
