The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
